conscious

selepas habiskan minggu-minggu aku dengan tengok variety show (i love snsd derr...) and glee season 2 aku sedar something. dah lama aku tak bincangkan tentang penyakit aku ni. mental illness  rasenye, being lesbian is not great at all. i should't have this feelings. it's not right kat dunia ni.. aku try avoid sebab ni masalah aku. tak kan nk open kt org benda bodoh ni, walaupon ramai yg pernah ckp kat aku bila dah kenal aku diorg egt aku pengkid. gila kentang betul.. maybe aku bisex or tak matang lagi. aku pon tak tahu semua ni. aku tak faham diri sendiri. but aku always imagine i will have my girl partner, kitorg ada rumah and duduk sama2 then kerja. if someday kene kahwin paksa pon tak kesah. tp not sure lah benda ni akan happen or not. selepas tgok glee and watch santana takot nk ngaku dia lesbian, mmg laa. benda ni bukan something yg kita boleh banggakan. maybe we were born this way, but what is the best thing we should do about it? i like women, i really do but now i'm trying to like guys as much as i like girls. ahh bodoh cerita pasal ni.