What is moving on? *for all the idiots out there this is for you guys

okay long story short; this is about moving on and what is moving on post ok. You do not text your ex or crush. do not call them. do not text about how much you miss them, or you dream about them. or try to walk down the memory lane "ingat tak kita dulu" punya ayat ok. Nope, we don't do that if we are trying to move on. build a new life and leave the one that is not working for you anymore. 

Understand? If you can do that shit no texting and calling, you are in the right direction. If someone says "try text her dude, maybe she's still angry". No no no, don't do that shit man. Why would ya? For me, miss n kata dia dah maafkan but still dia nak ada hidup sendiri tak ada aku. mula2 aku tak dapat terima. tapi aku hormat dia try tak msg and call. aku meraung dekat blog ni pasal rindu bagai. aku ada la termsg rindu tu, tp tu dulu, aku bodoh. Bengap sangat mesej macam tu and miss n still tak nak kawan dgn aku balik. Hari tu call gelak gila babi dengan dia. Still hari raya aku wish dia tak balas mesej aku. Senang kata wish pon tak lah. Memang dia tak nak kawan langsung dengan aku. Sama jugak dengan korang, diorang boleh je kalau terjumpa tepi jalan tegur. Tapi bukan mcm member rapat sebab korang ada history. Tapi diorang dah maafkan korang, it doesn't mean nak jadi kawan biasa. Kau try la tanya orang, ramai ke yg dapat member dengan ex balik?

Benda ni lagi teruk kalau korang adalah jenis orang yg pukul awek sendiri ok. Dia kalau boleh tak nak tengok muka korang even korang dah insaf bagai. Sebab benda yg lepas boleh minta maaf, but still akan teringat and terasa smpai bila - bila. Seriously, yang kau jenis pukul and dera awek apesal gila?? kan lagi susah. Aku nak tolong pon tak boleh. Aku ni, kesalahan aku selalunya sebab aku in love dengan diorang and try to do something like kissing. Tu salah aku, and itu je pon aku dah rasa serba salah smpai sekarang. Sampai segan nak text diorang  kerana aku segan dengan kelakuan aku yg bengong tu. Kiss her haha... memang bodoh doe, kiss orang. Ada yg buat bodoh. ada yg kiss balik sebab why not., kissing je. tapi still bukan nk ada apa-apa relationship dengan aku. ok tu je la yg aku nak cakap and aku still minta maaf. Tapi kesalahan aku tu tak abuse mentally and physically orang.

Ok tu je lah aku yg aku cuba terangkan. Kalau tak faham leave a comment ok. Aku tolong korang. Aku dah pro dah bab moving on. Been there and done that. Maybe no quite done yet haha... Be a good lesbian if you are, and if not. Good for you. Respect sebab baca blog aku and bukan lesbo haha...

New semester new hobbies

Next week start minggu kuliah. Pemalasnya lah rasa. Tapi lusa dah dapat jumpa Sya hehe... Excited lah jugak. Aku start work out. tak byk pon dlm sehari bakar 250 - 300 calories dlm masa 4 hari ni. Seluar aku dah longgar bab peha n betis beb haha... sumpah aku tak percaya. Mmg menjadi la nampak gayanya rutin ni. Apa lagi nak cerita eh??.. hmmmmm.. ouh result aku sem lepas 2.7 je. teruk nk mampos. its ok, sem ni aku kene belaja banyak . rajin lagi. and aku ada rancangan nk g melaka birthday Sya october ni. aku x reti bagi hadiah haha.. so mcm ni je lah. hope dia suka haha...

lesbians webseries and vlogger

i'm addicted to webseries recently, selalunya dekat youtube je lah sebab laju and free. and today nak bagi list webseries or any video yg related dengan lesbian yang aku dah tengok.

ANYONE BUT ME

The link: http://www.youtube.com/show/anyonebutme

EASY ABBY

the link : http://www.youtube.com/user/juicyplanet

INTO GIRLS

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/IntoGirlsWebseries

ROSE ELLEN DIX

She's english and it's kind of hard to understand the words but still my favorite vlogger. 

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/RoseEllenDix

ARIELLE

She has two channel.

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/GirlfriendsTV

               http://www.youtube.com/user/ArielleIsHamming

LEZBEONTALK

They broke up recently but marissa still uploading video in this channel

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/LezBeOnTalk

SASSIBOB

She's funny and have a nice tits haha... seriously, she's fucking hotttt

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/SassiBoB

               http://www.youtube.com/user/StevieBoebi

CALLING IN DRUNK

The link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2qh5M76Asc

HANNAH HART

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/MyHarto

andddddd....... this non-lesbian person that i have a crush on until now

DAILY GRACE

She's funny and not a lesbian and so pretty. She's my straight girl crush nowadays.

The link : http://www.youtube.com/user/dailygrace

So thats it guys, if ada yg tercicir biar lah. mesti aku post lagi nnt haha... ada ke antara vlogger ni korang dah penah tengok? if tak try enjoy, kalau tak klakar aku rasa funny bone korang hilang haha.. yg sure they all ni kira internet celebrity. Ada peminat masing2 and channel yg tersendiri. Vidcon 2013 tu aku tak tau apa tp diorang semua turun jumpa peminat haha.. ok bye

make out song and review about Sugar Rush

cuti ni aku obses cari any lesbian series yg aku tak habis tgok lagi. Sugar Rush korang penah tengok? UK punya series about teenage lesbian girl Kim that falls in love with her straight best friend Sugar. Honestly aku tak minat sangat Kim dengan Sugar sebab sugar bukan taste aku. Ada certain peminat suka dorang together but aku tak. for the first season Kim and Sugar ada la something masa final episode then Sugar masuk penjara sbb buat hal haha... Season two aku sangat excited tgok sampai ulang dah dekat berpuluh kali sebab  Kim ada girlfriend baru Saint. haha... sumpah hot. yang sayangnya ada dua season je for this series sbb aku pon xtau. Channel 4 tak nak sambung season 3 even rating agak tinggi utk cerita ni.

Kim the blonde one and Saint with her cut haircut haha...

Anyway... Taste korang mcm mana? Who do you prefer? Just nak tau berapa ramai yg taste mcm aku haha tak salah kan. and for this drama my favorite make out song or sex song dorang yg aku suka is this Nouvelle Vague - O Pamela. Every night before sleep aku dengar and bayangkan situation and then tido. Mimpi aku pon boleh tahan haha... aku tak suka bangun tido kalau dapat mimpi best. Hope other people enjoy this song as much as i am.

So pretty please try tengok sugar rush and fahamkan perasaan aku yg excited bila Kim dengan Saint even Sugar first love Kim haha..

masa lapang

this year punya cuti sebab aku tak kerja banyak sangat masa lapang. aku tolong family, jaga anak buah yg seorang tu and macam2 lah. And this semester break aku happy sbb dapat buat macam2. first of all aku akan download pretty little liars and rizzoli & isles every week sbb new episode every selasa. then aku akan search dekat youtube any new lesbian cerita sbb selalunya diorang akan post bahagian lesbian je ikut youtubers yg rajin. thankful betul atas kerajinan diorang. Orange is the new black dah habis satu season and kene tunggu next year for 2nd season. The L Word aku baru habis tengok haha.. mmg lambat gila tapi sbb skang ni baru ada orang post full sampai season 6 baru aku dapat tgok full semua season. ok lah. tapi aku just minat dengan tina and bette. shane or jenny aku tak minat sangat. waktu bed scene mmg aku suka tapi real life jennifer beal tak gay. agak sedih but its ok. aku ada imagination aku haha...

Laurel Holloman aku search pasal dia and about her art. Amazing ouh. dia lukis. i wish aku duduk europe boleh tgok exhibition dia. apa lagi aku buat cuti ni?? hmm.... ada drama aussie kot called Offspring. kelakar tapi tak lah gay sgt watak dia. just cerita pasal character tu kelakar. and aku selalu jugak baca literotica bahagian lesbian. i"m more to lesbian romance type so kene pandai cari novel yg writer bagus. ada yg aku suka so kalau korang nak baca lesbian novel free boleh lah tanya aku yg mana bagus dekat literotica. tak semua best. ada yg pasal sex je. aku tak boleh nak bayang kan dalam kepala otak kalau pasangan tu terus nak buat passionate sex tiba-tiba. macam what the fuck jugak lah.

Lately aku tga cari lagu yg best untuk enjoy. aku cari the l word soundtrack and dengar satu2 yg mana berkenan and download haha... aku bosan dah x tahu nak buat apa. aku tak minat nak keluar dengan kawan2 aku sbb diorang selalu bahan aku dengan Sya. diorang tau aku ada something dengan dia but aku bukan jenis yg suka orang gelakkan relationship aku. biarlah aku nak jadi gay ke apa. boyfriend diorang aku tak amik kisah pon. Sakit hati kalau kawan dgn budak straight ni. diorang akan bahan benda yg tak tahu. Maybe sebab aku tak cerita and they all just assume aku just main2 dengan Sya. Tapi aku tak suka kene gelak. Aku tak cerita hal aku, korang tak payah nak bukak mulut. Ni nak buat reunion berbuka puasa siap ajak budak lelaki. kalau diorang bangkitkan cerita Sya aku nak cakap apa?? Malas nak come out dekat orang yg tak ada kene mngena dengan aku. Maybe aku buat excuse balik awal. Ntah lah...

Regina Spektor - You've Got Time [Official Audio]

New series Orange is the new black and this song is a hit. i've seen all the 13 episodes and this songs is so catchy haha... personally aku suka series ni. and lagu jugak. enjoy..

How to move on from your straight girl crush.

ladies.. it's been like years i didn't update in my blog. first of all, i'm kind of busy with my life studying to be a civil engineer. obviously sebab aku tak la genius pandai gila. nak dapat dekan pon baru satu semester je. anyway, recently aku jadi excited nak blogging balik. why not, sebagai diary utk aku bukak balik blog ni nak baca. bila aku check byk jugak aku dah post and kebanyakan nya pasal kesedihan dengan miss n. and now aku x sedih and x ingat sangat pasal dia. nak msg selamat berpuasa pon aku x nak sebab i know dia x wish aku pon. aku wish dekat syg aku je haha... 

aku x ingat berapa lama dah since last aku dapat move on dari miss n. aku happy sekarang. memang typical lesbian girl falling in love with her straight bff. for those who still in that zone. just brace yourself. i can give you advice now because i'm over it. 

So this is the step how to move on or forget about your straight girl crush/bff.

1. keep in your mind that she's straight and your not. Remember that. Even if you gay that doesn't mean that she's the same.
2. Stop calling her, texting her, stalk her on facebook twitter or any type of communication. you need to stay away from her. really really stay away. i'm fucking serious girl. I know it's so fucking damm hard but still u need to be strong
3. try having a new girlfriend. go on a date. lepak with your friends but don't fucking use any advice that will make u make any connection with The Girl ok? lempang je member yg bagi idea bijak tu. You kene stay away from loneliness, because it can kills your soul girl haha.. lonely makes u wanna call and text her. no no you kene stay away
4. the best way is confront that you suka dia. Sebab either way kau akan jauh kan diri dari dia. so baik bagitahu je yang kau adore her. kalau dia x suka lagi bagus, dia sendiri akan jauh kan diri dari kau. Reality nya kau takkan dapat jadi kawan baik dia kalau kau x buang perasaan tu. sometimes takkan dapat jadi kawan pon ok? 
5. after one or two years, you will achieve how to forget your straight girl crush/bff.

itu je step yg aku rasa aku buat masa nak move on. banyak dari bantuan kawan2. bloggers yang lain. suruh aku bersabar semua. then aku jumpa Sya aku. then aku in love dengan dia. tapi aku regret sebab semua ni buat aku x boleh kawan dgn miss n. friendship susah nak dapat, and our friendship broke sbb perasaan aku. so aku tahu salah aku but what can i do. i was in love with her before. tangan aku x boleh lepas pegang dia. jantung aku berdebar je kalau dia ada. worst case kot. so mmg patut tak ada friendship tu. and miss n tolong jugak dengan block aku dari any type of communication haha... bangang dia lupa dia block aku, siot je miss n tu.

But now aku tgah madly in love with Sya. She thought me so many things. just be myself, aku x payah nak tunjuk comel or kuat depan dia. dia memang tau aku macam mana. lembik reality nya haha... dia peluk aku every time i need it. she loves me back. aku tak bertepuk sebelah tangan lagi. She likes to kiss me. She likes my body even aku kata aku gemuk n tak suka badan aku. Senang kata aku suka semua pasal Sya. Aku tak sangka akan jumpa a really lovely person macam dia. and bila ada kawan2 aku ngorat dia, dalam hari aku even sakit sbb awek aku kene usha tapi aku rasa bangga sebab, that girl is my girlfriend and she loves me. hoho... padan muka.  Tapi aku x suka Sya membebel haha...